The
girls and I decided to walk to a nearby town called Baghsu and hike to a
waterfall there. After breakfast we set out in good spirits and I kept turning
my face to the sun to let it engulf me. The town of Baghsu was bigger than we
expected and the hike to the waterfall was gorgeous. The trail was full of
goats and the sun lit up just how lush and emerald green everything is here.
When I got to the top I felt overjoyed by the way the waterfall’s mist hit my
face. I was in too good of a mood to even let all of the men taking photos and
videos of us bother me today. I pictured them saying to each other “screw the
waterfall, there are white girls here,” and I giggled alone to my private joke.
After an
entire morning of walking I met Dhondulp and four of his friends for lunch. We
went to a restaurant on the roof of a hotel and absorbed more sunshine as well
as the beautiful town below us. Dhondulp always orders me so much food. I
ordered tofu and he added veggie momos and all sorts of drinks to my lunch. I
wonder how our table appeared to any outsiders. A white girl at a table with
five monks and too much food. It was nice to get to know Dhondulp’s close
friends and hear him fill them in on my life. Dhondulp walked with me part of
the way after lunch and I thanked him for inviting me to lunch and I told him
that he was my best friend in Dharamsala. He said “thank you Kristen, I will
never forget that.” There are so many moments that I’m experiencing here that I
wish I could put in a jar and have a collection of memories in jars to share
and to savor.
After
lunch, I realized that I badly needed some alone time. At home, I’m used to
spending hours of alone time a day. I require it. Here, finding time to myself
is a challenge. So, I decided to walk Dharamsala’s inviting streets with no
destination and sat at a café for over an hour by myself and sipped on chai. I
then stopped at one of the little book stores and allowed myself to take as
long as I wanted to peruse every book that caught my eye. I’ve been blasting
through books here and bought The God of
Small Things before returning home. When I got home there was a note from
the other girls that they had gone to yoga so I ended up having the house to
myself to journal for almost two hours! Now I’m feeling quite centered and
content.
Call us
crazy but we went back to the lion man’s performance tonight. Because last night’s
performance took place without music or light, he told us we could all come
back tonight for free. We were drawn back mostly because without power we didn’t
get good photos or videos and thus we didn’t have good proof that the lion man
was real, that his show exists. So, we went back to take footage and photos. It
was really fun watching people’s reactions tonight. We knew what to expect but
everyone else was in for a big treat. The only thing that changed in this show
was that he dropped an old woman on to the floor and the thud caused my hand to
fly to my mouth. As bizzare as the show is, I’m surprised that everyone just lets
it happen. Everyone lets this man crawl in to their personal space and put his
sweaty face against theirs. I’m in awe that people seem to always give in to
the performer so easily, no matter what that performer is doing.
Dinner
was waiting for us when we got home. Tonight it was bread and veggies instead
of rice and veggies! I skipped the bread and had a candy bar and veggies. I can’t
wait to go home and get my hands in the kitchen and to feed my body whole and
raw foods. Guacamole, quinoa, and raw veggies with hummus are at the top of my
list. Oh, and apples!
During
my alone time today I did a lot of thinking about creative outlets. To me,
creative outlets are medication when I’m off center and my saviors when I need
saving. I feel like creativity is the way in which the soul expresses itself so
from now on I am going to call my creative outlets “soul expressions.” I can
feel when my soul is restless and is dying to be expressed. I feel grumpy, sad,
numb, or foggy minded. I am learning the signs and I know when I need to drop
what I’m doing to let my soul ooze out and take control of its expression and
let it admire itself and see what it looks like when released in to the world. I
love that soul expressions are different for everyone. My mom loves to let her
soul become color on a canvas (or a piece of cardboard). Jack likes to let his
soul out when he’s in his garage and his soul becomes tangible in projects
around the house. I’ve heard Shane’s soul come out when he sings and plays his
guitar. I’ve watched jewelers twist their souls into tiny pieces and slip their
souls on to their fingers or let their soul dangle from their ears. Once I
watched a woman splatter her soul all over a wall and her soul was able to stop
people in their tracks and view it as a mural. Personally, I like to put my
soul’s expression in to words and build those words in to entire thoughts. Some
days my soul would rather form itself in to different shapes and sizes with wet
clay.
I feel sad when people don’t let their soul out because they haven’t found their method of soul expression. When I meet people who are ugly in their actions and dark in their words, my first thought is that they can’t help it, their soul is locked up and screaming to get out so of course a person is going to feel unhappy. I often wonder what I can do to help them find their own method of soul expression but the intention comes up short, I really don’t know. All I can do is compile a list of my personal soul expressions and the soul expressions that I have witnessed in others. Maybe I can then show the locked up souls the list and see if something whispers to that place inside of them and their soul may see a sliver of light in which it can wiggle through and journey in to a beautiful world of creativity and freedom.
Simply beautiful! I love every bit of your soul expression!
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